Today two years ago....

my "first and closest friend" - my granddad - died. We had a special relationship althought it wasn't my biological granddad - I loved him to bits. When I was born the first 5 years my parents lived with my grandparents (they all together worked in the bakery and the bakers shop) so I grew up with "two mums and two dads" - I always had my granddad around - I think he loved me to bits too - whereever my granddad was I was close (when my dad and my mum weren't around and had to work). And nothing changed when I grew older - I could always ask him anything - he knew an answer - sometimes it wasn't what I expected or wanted to hear but he always had a wise reply.
10 years ago he had a stroke and since then everything changed - he couldn't talk anymore (he tried but the words didn't came out the right way) and that broke my heart. Every time I came home to a visit I first stopped at my parents and an hour later I was on the way to look for my granddad (and grandmother) - he often tried to ask me something and every now and then it worked and we had a very slowly conversation - but we HAD a conversation -  anyway - I sooo loved to get  named " mein Stern von Rio"  from him- which means he called me "my star of Rio" - how I miss that.
Unfortunately my grandmother couldn't take care for him the last 3 years and he had to move to a nursery home which he never accepted as a home - he lived there but he wasn't happy. He was a nice man and had a grin for everyone there but knowing him soo well I knew he was unhappy. My parents couldn't take care for him either as they this time still had to work in the bakery and the bakers shop. So the nursery home was the only way. (thank god we have such nursery homes). But two years ago he didn't want to go on with his life and he stopped eating - which means he did't allow someone to give him something to eat - after 2 weeks he accepted a little pudding and yoghurt but just a little. He couldn't walk and sit anymore - jsut laid down in his bed. And the last time I called the nursery home I was told that he is still "fine" - no problems and it can go on  that way 10 - 12 days  but saturday morning I woke up and my first thought was I have to drive all the way to Schlüchtern to look for my granddad - it was like he called me. Achim and I had breakfast and I called my parents if there was a change - and they told me that granddad had a little yoghurt this morning and he "looks not that bad" - but I couldn't get stopped. I packed a bag and we drove to Schlüchtern - short visit at my parents and then off to the nursery home. My granddad laid in his bed - he was so small and thin and tiny - and first he didn' t recognize me - I sat there 3 hours and cried and tried not to show him that I silly cow came to sit on his bad and cry.....  After 3 hours I left him with the promise I will be back tomorrow morning-Sunday morning I went to the nursery home again and sat on his bed for 2 hours - when I came close to give him a kiss I saw that he recognized me - he had such a cute smile on his face and his eyes showed me hat he was soo happy to have me there. I talked to him and after another hour I left him as he needed his "nap" and I told him that I "allow him to go if he wanted to"..... gave him a kiss - he hold my hands and after 5 mins I left him...... half an hour later - we all sat at my parents - the nursery home called - my Granddad has gone....
I am sure he waited for me - he wanted to see me again and for the last time and I felt that .....

Granddad - you always have a special place in my heart - I love you!